Relief,Belief,Realisation and Hope

Last couple of months have been very demanding both on the physical and mental front.I joined Epsilon(Marlabs sounds better) with a cloud of hope of a blooming career and of course a long one here and what not i did for it,I fought against my low confidence and for about a month worked for 3 teams ( UI,web development and QA)..After 18 months where am i???Looking out for a job and a cloud of hope again..Whats the reason??Not my performance or anything related to sanity but due to some mergers and internal higher management conflicts the India team is supposedly closing down..What is the mistake of fresh college passout with dreams who have joined this company? worng choice!!!How the hell do students know about this dirty stuff that happens in some dirty brains of the management.I don't give a damn but irritated cos was a victim of it but certainly learnt a lot.I went through some interviews not knowing what technology they were using..Then after a couple of such mistakes by consultancies i got into a startup company called "injoos"..Happy and relived..

Right from my childhood i love Tirupati.I feel the difference in myself when i am there..can't explain...May be a coincidence or may be luck..All good things in my life happen when am there or planning to go there..Love the place and feeling..I have my belief in the safe hands of the divine almighty Lord Venkateshwara..

Whenever i am traveling i have this habit of allowing the wind to blow across my face(not that i can disallow:-) ) and that is the time i give for introspecting myself.The journey back from Tirupati on July 30 2008 was a pretty serious one.. I looked back at my life and saw that it had been nearly an year that i had given quality time for myself..What was i doing??? Trying to shape up my career i guess..hmmmm..donno if its a good enough reason to deny time for myself in fact no reason would be..Have i given time for my parents and grandma??NO was the answer..shocked and sad i was but knew they would have understood the situation..for friends????sad but true..neither of them had time to find out about my time..They have "moved on"(whatever it means) but what i realised the most was if i had given enough time for myself i would have been a much balanced person than what i was during the small crisis i went through.I decided that i would give time for my parents and grandma..they deserve the most..i surely and certainly will have time for myself..last but never ever the least i always have time for friends who have time for me..This realisation struck me when i was just gazing at the sky and looked at the stars,,it had been months since i saw stars in the sky..A mi so busy???Crap!!! i disagree..there used to a time when me and my friends used to identify the constellations but now i don't even see stars..he he..


Relief that i have a job...Belief that Lord Venkateshwara is there with me when i am on the right track..Realised that time is precious and needs to be spent in precious ways with precious ones and hope that my belief keeps me relived and realised always..

Tough Times

Yo people..long time no see..

Over the past month there has been an uncertainty over the job..
There have been rumours that 'India operations' would be shut down and all that crap but none has any official news.

My manager in US is the only guy who has been optimistic and encouraging.
He is a gem of a guy,i adore and admire him a lot.Great human being.

So there i started getting startled and applied for jobs and attended interviews.
First interview was bad.Second interview good but a crappy profile and workplace.Third company i went for was just like a dream company but i had no experience or knowledge for the profile they were looking for.

And on my current company,i am too emotional to leave it,its a cool place to work and learn.

I have got some other projects apart form work which has kept me occupied way too much.Working from 11 in the morning to 3 in the morning for 20 days and without a break over the weekend.

I need a break a good break.Let me see when i get it.

Disturbed...

After all those happy times there has been a testing time for me in the past month or so but i enjoy it as well..I don't give a bloody fuck to these bad times..i will show my middle finger and move on stronger...

First i lost my cell phone..due to my carelessness or bad luck..being an emotional fool like me it took nearly a week to console myself..emotional towards it cos had bought it with a part of my first salary and had lots of messages stored in it..

Then the girl whom i had loved for 13 years got married..God bless her..

Then my lovely friend is moving to chennai for 1 year for CA coaching..Will miss her dearly..

Happy Times..

Wow feeling good...Everything going smooth in life..Things are pretty fine on the personal front except for a bit of boredom..Time is looking bright on the professional front..in fact great....

Let me just list all the good news i have heard lately..

Two of my friends got married.
One my classmate..had a very good time in her marriage.
Another..one of my closest and sweetest friends(she is just like a kid to me)..felt really relived and very happy for her..

My dad got trabsferred back to Bangalore.. I was waiting for this very badly..Now he can be relaxed and peaceful without those tiring travel everyday..

My friend cleared her critical subject..what a relief to her..Me very happy for her..

I got 'Employee of the Month' award...

All my relatives had come home on the day after 'Ugadi'..had a very good time and felt nice being with everyone..

Nice way to end and start a year..Future is looking very promising..

Born to win..Love it..

31st post : For someone special.

Will write shortly..

H e he..when i started to write this i had lots of hope and now i have lost hope..She is married happily..and am happy for her and her family..
She lost something but not me..
She will never find a guy who can love her more than me..She was a goddess to me..

Ah!!! What a feeling......

After a long day at work,i just waved good bye to the security guard,reached the parking lot,plugged my ear phones and started riding my bike listening to some cool music..traffic was much as usual..as i drove in a peaceful manner rather than my usual way i saw a girl in her scooty at the 'Chalukya Hotel' signal..Am being shameless,yes i went and parked my vehicle right next to her but signal went green and vroom she went..then i enjoyed the music and drove slowly singing the song a bit loudly..then the 'Your're beautiful' song came and suddenly did this girl right in front of me..i got a glimpse of her face and man she was gorgeous and beautiful...What an appropriate song..but the lyrics which came out from my mouth was a bit different..

MY life is brilliant
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me in the signal
She was on her scooty
'But I've got no plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we drove by.
She could see from my face that I was,
awestruck,admiring her beauty
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

La la la la la la la la la

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.



I bloody got so intense looking at her that i didn't bother about my riding much..I changed my route just to be with her for a couple of more minutes and i prayed there should be a traffic jam..she went i came but the feeling was awesome..

But its true fairytales won't come true and i will never meet her again..

Trip to Ghati...

It was a lazy saturday evening when suddenly i decided to go to Ghati the next morning mainly cos i wanted to travel by bus and my parents wanted me to go there..Had plans of sleeping early and getting up early...neither happened..slept at around 3 and got up at 8..Reached Mekhri circle bus stop by 9:30..then from there got a bus to Doddabalapur..it was a nice feeling to travel by bus after a long time..Switched on my mp3 stick and enjoyed the cool breeze and the greenery around..After one hour forty five minutes was in the Dbpur bus stand..bought a couple of fruit-n-nut chocolate bars and found a small cab luckily i got a seat..the capacity of the cab was about 10 including the driver but actually there were nearly 40 ppl on the cab..Happens only in India..after a slow journey for about 25minutes on the bumpy mud roads reached Ghati around 12:30..Ghati is a small town with just 3 roads..one road which has about 30-40 houses and the other road which has a temple and around 20 shop cum houses ..i just left my shoes and entered the temple and stood in a long queue..stood in the queue for nearly 40 minutes just to have a glimpse of God for about few seconds..then came out..my phone had no network so had to find a phonebooth to call up my friends who were staying there for field work as part of their civil engg curriculum but the phones weren't working just as i was wondering how to contact them i came across a small house kind of thing and seeing one girl there asked if that is where Bms civil engg students staying but to my surprise she was one the friends i knew and soon the gang of friends came and took me inside..My kiddo friend Bhargs was too happy and excited to see me..started asking about my journey and started showing their survey sheets..then i gave the chocolates to them and we all finished it in minutes..I was really happy to see all these friends of mine who really enjoyed my visit there..then we spoke for a while and starting thinking for a place to have lunch and since there wasn't any good place there we decided to go to temple for lunch after a lot of debate among ourselves..then we stood in the queue for about 20 minutes and we had our lunch which was really really bad...then we came out had tender coconut and then i bid good bye to them and caught a small cab..now i was supposed to stand on the foot board the journey..i enjoyed it..holding the bus with only one hand and only one feet in the bus...It was too much fun..then took a bus back to Bangalore..It was a very good and relaxing day..Decided need to go to such trips more often..