Relief,Belief,Realisation and Hope

Last couple of months have been very demanding both on the physical and mental front.I joined Epsilon(Marlabs sounds better) with a cloud of hope of a blooming career and of course a long one here and what not i did for it,I fought against my low confidence and for about a month worked for 3 teams ( UI,web development and QA)..After 18 months where am i???Looking out for a job and a cloud of hope again..Whats the reason??Not my performance or anything related to sanity but due to some mergers and internal higher management conflicts the India team is supposedly closing down..What is the mistake of fresh college passout with dreams who have joined this company? worng choice!!!How the hell do students know about this dirty stuff that happens in some dirty brains of the management.I don't give a damn but irritated cos was a victim of it but certainly learnt a lot.I went through some interviews not knowing what technology they were using..Then after a couple of such mistakes by consultancies i got into a startup company called "injoos"..Happy and relived..

Right from my childhood i love Tirupati.I feel the difference in myself when i am there..can't explain...May be a coincidence or may be luck..All good things in my life happen when am there or planning to go there..Love the place and feeling..I have my belief in the safe hands of the divine almighty Lord Venkateshwara..

Whenever i am traveling i have this habit of allowing the wind to blow across my face(not that i can disallow:-) ) and that is the time i give for introspecting myself.The journey back from Tirupati on July 30 2008 was a pretty serious one.. I looked back at my life and saw that it had been nearly an year that i had given quality time for myself..What was i doing??? Trying to shape up my career i guess..hmmmm..donno if its a good enough reason to deny time for myself in fact no reason would be..Have i given time for my parents and grandma??NO was the answer..shocked and sad i was but knew they would have understood the situation..for friends????sad but true..neither of them had time to find out about my time..They have "moved on"(whatever it means) but what i realised the most was if i had given enough time for myself i would have been a much balanced person than what i was during the small crisis i went through.I decided that i would give time for my parents and grandma..they deserve the most..i surely and certainly will have time for myself..last but never ever the least i always have time for friends who have time for me..This realisation struck me when i was just gazing at the sky and looked at the stars,,it had been months since i saw stars in the sky..A mi so busy???Crap!!! i disagree..there used to a time when me and my friends used to identify the constellations but now i don't even see stars..he he..


Relief that i have a job...Belief that Lord Venkateshwara is there with me when i am on the right track..Realised that time is precious and needs to be spent in precious ways with precious ones and hope that my belief keeps me relived and realised always..